Look at the Bright Side

I have a history of being a pretty negative person. This is kinda given away by my handle "grumpytck". It sometimes takes a lot of effort for me to be a positive person, even though I know full well that I'll be much happier with myself and others if I focus on the good things and not the bad.

From a recent discussion with a friend via Tumblr, I've realised that a lot of third culture kids (some much, much more than others) can fall into the bad habit of focusing on the negative sides of being a TCK. Weird friendships, culture/reverse culture shock, lack of sense of belonging. You know, the normal stuff. It is vital that we don't let ourselves fall into this habit. Yes, some people's experiences growing up over seas will definitely be much more difficult than others. Some people will have absolutely hated (or do hate) the country they're in. There are definitely people that have had a much harder time than I did growing up in Thailand. This will make it much more difficult to view being a TCK in a positive light. However, regardless of how difficult it has been, it's really important to think about the good aspects of growing up in the way you have. At the very least you'll find yourself feeling a little bit happier, even if you can only think of one or two things you liked. I agree that it's important to talk about the issues you have, especially with other TCKs, but it needs to not be the complete focus. The good experiences must be talked about too. By focusing on the negative you're probably going to end up remembering things as shittier than they really were which is just going to make you feel even worse about things. Don't fall into that cycle. Don't encourage it either. If you discover someone falling into this, do your best to pull them out. I can't say how one would go about doing this, different approaches are necessary for different people.

Remember, being a TCK isn't a bad thing. It's not even a good thing. Being a TCK is a state of being. It has it's pros and cons, but it's just something you are. You'll be living with the fact you're a TCK for the rest of your life, so why not focus on the good rather than the bad?